It was a gloomy morning in Willowbrook, the skies overcast and temperature cool. Henry the Grump had woke up on the wrong side of the dumpster and he was grumpier than usual, thanks to a soggy blanket and lumpy pillow.
"Another terrible day," Henry yawned. "Wonderful."
He opened a recently discarded newspaper and pulled out a bruised apple from a cardboard box. Crunching away on his breakfast, he began to read. After a page or two, his expression grew even more sour.
"Same nonsense. Nothing good to read anymore."
The paper was crumpled and tossed aside.
"Guess I'll go for a magazine instead," Henry stated. "There's got to be something worth my time."
Rummaging through his collection, he found one about antiques and trinkets.
Henry raised a bushy eyebrow. "Now that's new. Looks interesting."
Not long after scanning with intrigue, a water bottle was tossed in and bounced from his head. The disturbance made him completely lose track of where he was. Henry threw it aside, quickly got up, then searched for the culprit.
"WHO THREW THAT?! I WAS READING!"
Nobody was found. Only silence.
"Lousy people," Henry muttered. "Can't a grump get one peaceful day without someone or something ruining it?! They bonked me on the noggin for crying out loud!"
He went back inside and was about to continue reading, but more problems came his way.
A frosty blue robotic enforcer shaped like an ice cube hovered by, stopped, and looked inside the dumpster. It scanned Henry with suspicion and scrutiny, like he was guilty of something he didn't even do.
"Are you allowed to live in there? What's your status?"
Henry growled. "Are you allowed to ask dumb questions? Get out of here!"
Reaching for a brick, he threw it and struck the machine. This caused it to malfunction and ultimately left destroyed. Henry peeked out his dumpster and checked the coast for other mechanical patrols.
"Not even their original role," Henry grumbled. "Talk about personal invasion."
To make matters worse, a gray diesel pick-up truck with a red oil tank on a wooden palette bed rumbled by. It was causing a ton of noise and polluted the air with exhaust. Now Henry liked junk, but HATED pollution and noise. This person was causing him grief every day — driving through one moment and the other the next.
Henry coughed. "Hey genius! Ever heard of clean air?!"
He hurled a rock at the vehicle, which smashed through the windshield and narrowly missed the driver. They swerved and crashed comically into a dumpster nearby.
Henry shook his fist. "QUIT STINKING UP MY ALLEY WITH THAT STUPID THING! DON'T THINK WE'RE NOT AWARE OF YOUR POLLUTION ROUTE!"
A few red jester hat fools breathed in and exhaled in relief.
"Bunch of idiots," Henry scoffed. "Their noses must be broken! How can you even find that refreshing or acceptable?!"
Then a dark blue sports car zoomed by way too fast. It had loud, obnoxious music playing and an amplified engine. The windows were solid black, so whoever was driving was unknown.
Henry was now at his boiling point.
"SLOW DOWN, YOU MANIAC! AND TURN OFF THAT HORRIBLE MUSIC TOO!"
He tossed a rusty stop sign at the windshield, which the driver lost control and crashed into the side of the trashy truck. A few pigeons delivered bird droppings on the two vehicles as a traffic jam started to build with horns honking.
Henry glared. "That's what you both deserve for your disregard to others and reckless driving!"
Mumbling and grumbling, Henry decided to observe instead.
A group of red jester hat fools were laughing, cheering, and drooling at an AI-generated video on their smartphones via Lies Social. It was posted by Toddler Dictator Donny and depicted Henry as a villain. He drove a modified heist dumpster filled with boxes of burnt steak containing ketchup, along with various golden trophies of accomplishments.
"These are all mine," AI-generated Henry sneered. "Good luck trying to catch me!"
In a series of blaring trumpet noises, Toddler Dictator Donny swooped down from a building above. This version of him had a red cape with a white elephant and his trusty mini golf club. A smug and confident grin appeared on his wrinkly face.
"WAAAH! I'm here to stop the enemies from within!"
He flew through the air and whacked the modified dumpster with his mini golf club, which spun wildly and crashed into a wall. Out tumbled Henry, seething at his unexpected defeat.
"I'll get you for this," AI-generated Henry shouted. "Just you wait and see!"
AI-generated Toddler Dictator Donny stood triumphantly. "I'm a hero! Bigly! Everyone loves me! Good trumps evil!"
Henry was agitated. "That never even happened! SCRAM!"
He heaved a tide of trash at the red jester hat fools, causing them to scurry away.
Henry frowned. "More of that AI-generated filth from him. Absolutely despicable."
Trying to feel less grumpy, he continued to survey his surroundings.
Several young people were spotted munching on detergent pods and wearing t-shirts with the number 67 on them. The majority recorded videos of themselves, mindlessly scrolled on social media, acted like brats, did shallow dances, were unpleasant, and attempting performative stunts.
"Can't stand this generation," Henry lamented. "They make my trash look decent, and that's saying something! What a disappointment."
A digital billboard caught his attention where Toddler Dictator Donny did a clown dance with various billionaires, corporate leaders, celebrities, and influencers.
Henry rolled his eyes. "All of them are a bad influence with too much money, power, and popularity. And yet, everyone is obsessed with them."
He lobbed a banana peel at the screen and proceeded to mock.
"Look at me! I can only think of nasty three-to-five-lettered words, because my brain has rotted out! I lack any respect, decency, or consideration and make excuses for it! And that goes for all of you — stars, fools, creators, punks, thugs, and nobodies alike!"
Henry folded his arms. "My dumpster smells sweeter than your rotten, entitled attitudes. Cheap and pathetic, just like the things you do."
Then another billboard displayed a message with a person forcing a fake smile, reminding everyone that emotional suppression is the right thing.
Henry clenched his fists. "And what does that do? Let problems continue?! I don't think so!"
He launched a tomato at the display, the pulp covering the message partially.
Next, a car commercial and a hologram claiming to know everything appeared. It featured flashy electric vehicles driving around neon streets and scenes of machinery pulsing on the billboard. He stood there, flickered, and delivered his final line like he was smarter than everyone else.
Henry squinted up at the spectacle. "One more know-it-all on the list, huh? Then you should know this ad is WRONG! Car commercials are supposed to be professional, not degraded circus acts!"
An old, worn tire rammed into the billboard.
"Respect sells cars, not arrogance! And if this is what the future of advertising looks like, then it's already bankrupt!"
And finally, a digital billboard with the collective named CRINKUS showed. It consists of five dictators who rule the world: Zingping, President V, General Karmeni, King Jahoon, and Toddler Dictator Donny.
Their motto read: "Order. Obedience. One World."
Henry roared. "THIS IS FOR SPREADING EVIL FAR AND WIDE!"
He swung a bag of garbage at the screen.
A person walked by and shrugged. "That's just the way it is. There's nothing you can do, so deal with it."
Henry was furious. "THE WAY IT IS?! NO, IT'S NOT! That kind of thinking is why everything is getting worse! If you can't see that, then get lost!"
With frustration boiling like a tea kettle, he reached for a tomato and hit them hard in the face. A loud splat was heard as the mess dripped to the ground. Not a word more was said, and they walked away completely unfazed.
Henry watched. "Can't stand people like that. Apathy and complacency at its finest."
To escape from it all, he retreated back inside his dumpster.
"The world is driving me bonkers! Has everyone lost it already?! I hate what society has turned into!"
Soon, two familiar voices were heard, which Henry recognized as the duo of grandpas named John and George. They had went on a stroll around town while their purple monkey friend named Peanut was bonding with the other primates.
Henry groaned. "Great. Double trouble is here."
Grandpa George squinted at the clothing. "WHAT?! 67?! I REMEMBER BACK THEN!"
Grandpa John scratched his head. "Uh, I don't think that's what it is. Probably something meaningless."
George turned to John. "Oh, I see. Do you remember those days?"
John nodded. "I do. It was a different time. Not perfect, but definitely better. Maybe even more sensible than now."
Henry was listening with a slight expression of relief. "Hmph. Surprised they're not completely oblivious."
Suddenly, his neighbor Cecil the Crank stirred awake. A red-purple, furry puppet with a unibrow who lives in a silver trash can right next to Henry and is always cranky. Both of them in the worst moods, but opposite in personalities.
"Terrible weeks, I love them! Time to crank up the noise!"
A series of trash-can-clanging, bottle-ringing, and aluminum-crackling erupted. It was almost like a music performance of literal garbage.
Henry moaned. "If I could have it my way, I'd have no neighbors at all!"
Cecil called out. "Hey, Henry! Got a gift for you!"
He tossed in a jug of expired milk, which spilled all over Henry with a very strong, sour smell. Henry stood there, his bushy eyebrow twitching in simmering anger. Cecil cackled at the unfortunate scene delivered to the yellow-green puppet.
"I'm not crying over spilled milk, but this is RIDICULOUS!"
Cecil yelled. "YOU'RE RUINING MY TRASH SYMPHONY! KEEP IT DOWN!"
"Look who's talking," Henry spat. "You started this with your cranky shenanigans! I was here LONG before you even moved in!"
Cecil countered. "Well, I'm here and not going ANYWHERE! You're grumpy rants are making me cranky!"
Henry tossed a crumpled newspaper into Cecil's trash can.
"HEY! This is my turf! Keep your trash on your side!"
Cecil hurled a container of gravy into Henry's dumpster.
"THAT'S IT! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE!"
Henry heaved a mountain of debris into Cecil's trash can.
Cecil bellowed. "OH, IT'S ON NOW!"
The grump and crank went into a trash-flinging frenzy. It was a battle for the ages.
A moment later, John and George spotted their feud.
Grandpa George blurted. "WHAT?! DUMPSTER GOBLINS?! I KNEW THEY WERE REAL!"
Henry spotted the two old men staring at them and he threw a tomato that struck George in the face.
"THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! SKEDADDLE!"
Grandpa George licked his lips. "Mmm. Tasty. Needs more salt."
Grandpa John chuckled. "We should let them solve their differences."
Henry’s eyes burned with intensity, while Cecil watched the seniors with mild curiosity as they shuffled off.
"That was a good throw," Cecil complimented.
Henry huffed. "Don't think this makes us friends."
Cecil looked away, his arms crossed. "Wouldn't dream of it!"
Both puppets slunk back into solitude. Henry slammed the dumpster lid shut and locked it, while Cecil clanged his own top down.
Henry murmured. "Worst. Day. Ever. Tomorrow better be worse, or I'll be really mad. I'm going to close my eyes and forget about this dystopian nightmare."
Feeling wiped out, Henry laid down for a nap, hoping to forget the troubles of a decaying world. Today had been the worst, simply because of the direction everything was going. Perhaps he’d invent a sock-launcher for efficiency? Or, against all odds, even team up with Cecil?