At Grandpa John's house, John and George were relaxing on the porch. Their purple monkey friend named Peanut was in a tree, observing the surroundings. John read the news on his tablet while George watched the clouds drift through the sky.
"Oh brother," Grandpa John grumbled. "Looks like the circus is in town."
Grandpa George was confused. "I thought you enjoyed those? I know I did when I was a little guy."
Grandpa John informed him. "This isn't a circus with animals and tricks! It's another one of those troublesome gatherings by that toddler clown!"
"WHAT?! A toddler performing in the circus?!"
Grandpa John sighed. "No, I'm talking about Toddler Dictator Donny. You know, the one who made everything terrible again."
Grandpa George frowned. "Oh, that whippersnapper. I'd rather deal with the purple monkeys than him. At least they're fun and don't cause major problems."
Peanut swung from the tree to see what was going on with the two elderly men. The purple monkey was caught up about the event, which he stomped his foot and shrieked.
"Should we go," Grandpa John asked. "There's nothing to do today."
Grandpa George was hesitant. "I guess, but only if there's no lions. Still am haunted by that safari trip."
Peanut gave an uncertain nod, clearly not too happy about the predicament.
And with that, the two grandpas and purple monkey hopped into John's electric golf cart and drove into town. It wasn't long before they spotted a giant circus tent with a red elephant at the very center of Willowbrook.
Inside, the air was filled with loud circus music and smelled like stale nachos. Across the ground laid tons of peanuts scattered about. The crowd consisted of red jester hat fools, which they appeared dazzled and acted worse than wild animals.
"These people are unbelievable," Grandpa John growled. "I already regret going here."
Not too long after, they noticed Toddler Dictator Donny approaching the stage in the middle. A toddler with a diaper, red jester hat, wrinkly smug face, and weird yellow hair that looked more like a wig. He waddled up to a golden podium and began shouting.
"I'm the greatest! Nobody's done better than me! My opponents? Sad! They're jealous of my tremendous success! WAAAH!"
The crowd of red jester hat fools began cheering loudly. Many of them chanted nonsense, stomped their feet, bells jingled, did stunts, and waved flags.
John looked at George. "They'll cheer for anything, won't they?"
Grandpa George sulked. "Even the demise of society."
Peanut scooped up some nuts and flung them at the red jester hat fools, which bounced from their heads unbeknownst to them.
Toddler Dictator Donny continued. "Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is greater than me! And let me tell you, nobody is smarter than me! Not even the experts!"
Grandpa John muttered. "Keep telling yourself that, sonny..."
Peanut held up a sign that read:
"Cowards in power, spreading lies,
Surveillance and oppressive skies.
Cowards in power, nothing gets done,
Real leaders compromise, unlike one."
Toddler Dictator Donny pouted. "Those two grandpas named John and George are a disaster! Bigly! One steals bananas and the other can't hear a fly! And those purple monkeys? Fake news! They've been plotting against me for years!"
Grandpa John was disgruntled. "You wouldn't know the truth if it slapped you in the face a thousand times!"
Grandpa George cupped his ear. "WHAT?! Did he say I can't hear a lie?! Pretty sure I just heard one!"
Toddler Dictator Donny was surprised. "Now, now, let's be civil-"
Grandpa John stood up. "Civil? Coming from someone who loves being extremely rude and creating chaos? WHY SHOULD I?! You've caused so many problems! And your band of hooligans only made it worse!"
The crowd gasped, taken back by the defiance.
Grandpa George looked around. "Was that a vacuum cleaner?! There's too many nuts on the ground! Someone isn't cleaning up around here!"
Grandpa John shook his head. "No, just a group that can't handle truth, decency, difference, or losing."
Peanut crossed his arms in disapproval.
Toddler Dictator Donny defended. "HOLD ON! You can't-"
"WHO'S MAKING ALL THAT RACKET?!"
A dumpster lid opened with a slam and out popped Henry the Grump. He examined his new surroundings and was baffled, despite somehow sleeping through all of it. The team who set up this event either was not aware or careless of his presence.
"I was just enjoying a miserable nap, and now this?!"
Toddler Dictator Donny pointed. "Look at that messy puppet! He lives in trash and is trash! Terrible!"
Henry scoffed. "At least I don't spew it like you do! Your character and lack of standards goes to show who you really are, toilet mouth! You embody everything wrong with humanity, and there's no denying that!"
Grandpa John grinned. "You tell him, Henry!"
Grandpa George quipped. "Does that child really act that way?"
Grandpa John replied. "You don't want to know."
Toddler Dictator Donny ignored him. "We are now putting tariffs on trash and the air! No more items from outsiders! No more! I'm also going to rename more places, make new holidays, and appear at more sports! Maybe even a few rooftop walks too! I even have a road named after me!"
Henry groaned. "You never zip it, do you?"
Tired of the constant yapping, he hurled a tomato that struck Toddler Dictator Donny in the face with a loud splat. The crowd gasped again, many in silent outrage and even whimpering by the bold move.
"How dare you disrespect the greatest!"
Henry scowled. "Respect is earned, not demanded. Considering your words and actions, you don't deserve any!"
Toddler Dictator Donny's lip quivered, then he burst into a tantrum. "WAAAH! I'M TELLING LIES SOCIAL ABOUT THIS! SO MEAN! SO UNFAIR!"
Henry rolled his eyes. "Go ahead and try! I'm not afraid of those red jester hat morons or your spineless cronies! And for the record, you've said and done far worse!"
Toddler Dictator Donny sniffled, wiping the mess from his face.
After a brief intermission and sycophants setting up things, he introduced something unexpected.
"I've got something huge," Toddler Dictator Donny bellowed.
It was his line of snacks, all named after him.
The first item was Donny Delights, which were stale raisin cookies with his face. Several pouches were tossed out to the crowd and the red jester hat fools munched away.
Grandpa John raised an eyebrow. "Stale raisin cookies? I'd rather have some chocolate chip or oatmeal ones!"
Grandpa George was bewildered. "WHAT?! Did he say Stupidity Brigade rookies?!"
"He's talking about cookies," Grandpa John corrected. "Though that's not far from reality."
Several packages were thrown into Henry's dumpster by the red jester hat fools. They did a clown dance for him and scurried away while taunting and jeering.
"HEY! QUIT TOSSING THESE AWFUL SNACKS IN HERE!"
He shoved out the items, sending them flying in the air.
The second treat was Donny Freeze, which was the nastiest flavor of ice cream imaginable. It contained spoiled orange sherbet with black licorice sauce, smelly sardines, rotten eggs, a banana peel, ice cubes, and newspaper clippings praising him sprinkled on top.
Bowls with the toxic treat were handed out one by one. The red jester hat fools devoured it without thinking, as usual. They even complimented the unique taste like it was gourmet dessert.
Grandpa John was queasy. "DISGUSTING! How could anyone eat that?!"
Henry gagged. "I'd rather eat the sludge at the bottom of my bin! Their sense of taste must be broken!"
Grandpa George scrunched his face. "Won't view ice cream the same anymore..."
The third and final item was Donny Swirl, which was moldy popcorn and cotton candy mixed with sand. Each one was stored in a plastic bag and thrown to the crowd. The sound of obnoxious crunching was heard all over.
Little did they know the damage it was doing to their teeth.
Henry facepalmed. "The dentist will wonder about their brain next."
Grandpa John covered his ears. "That crunching noise is unbearable! Make it stop!"
Grandpa George chuckled. "Hilarious and pathetic!"
Henry was contempt. "Yep. The entire lot of them."
Toddler Dictator Donny started blabbering. "Henry the Grump is a big liar! A loser! Don’t believe a word he says! He's just jealous of my amazing ideas! Like my fantastic snacks and my plans to make everything bigger, better, and more shiny!"
The crowd of red jester hat fools cheered even louder, while some started chanting in unison.
"Donny's the best! Donny's the best!"
Henry scolded. "A loser, huh? You should look in the mirror! I might live in trash, but at least I don't act like it."
Grandpa John looked at George, his eyebrows furrowed. "Can you believe these gullible goons? They’ll believe anything!"
Grandpa George appeared displeased. "That youngin doesn’t have any idea what he’s saying! But they’ll eat it up like those horrible snacks."
Peanut, who had been silently watching the whole scene, shook his head and held up another sign:
"Money, influence, and power,
Counting blame every single hour.
This doesn't have to do with sides,
Right and wrong, falsehoods unwise."
Toddler Dictator Donny, noticing the sign, immediately pointed at Peanut. "That purple monkey is spreading fake news! He’s been working against me all along! He's part of a conspiracy! A monkey conspiracy! He’s trying to turn you all against me! Don’t listen to him! I know what's best!"
Henry snapped. "All you know is propaganda! Every time you say something, it's the-"
Toddler Dictator Donny deflected. "HENRY IS WRONG! I'm just telling it like it is!"
Henry gritted his teeth. "More like how you want to hear it! Big difference, pal!"
Toddler Dictator Donny then began spreading more false information about Henry, then randomly went into incoherent claims about space lasers, headache medicine, and windmills.
Henry, finally having enough, mumbled. "Time to take out the trash. I've had it with this annoying kid."
He tossed a large bag of garbage with all his might at him, causing the toddler to stumble and fall.
Toddler Dictator Donny started throwing another tantrum. "WAAAH! THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME! NOBODY HAS BEEN TREATED MORE UNFAIRLY!"
The red jester hat fools started booing, shouting, and chanting against Henry. Some even did clown dances as their form of defense.
Henry boomed. "Someone need to stand up to you idiots! If you won't listen to reason, then get a taste of this!"
He started pelting the red jester hat fools with trash, causing them to retreat in fear. A group of purple monkeys noticed the commotion and joined in, flinging banana peels. They tripped and slipped as they ran away. To add insult to injury, a flight of pigeons delivered bird droppings on the cowardly supporters.
Henry yelled, shaking his fist. "YOU'RE ALL PART OF THE PROBLEM!"
It wasn't long before the tent was empty. All who remained was the two old men, Peanut, Henry the Grump, and the humiliated toddler.
Toddler Dictator Donny screamed. "WAAAH! You can't punish greatness! I'm here to make everything terrible again!"
Henry clenched his fists. "Oh, don't worry, you already did!"
Toddler Dictator Donny tried again. "Anyone who disagrees with me is in trouble! I will send them far-"
A pigeon flew in the tent and delivered a bird dropping on the toddler's head.
Toddler Dictator Donny wailed, then pulled out his golden smartphone to complain on Lies Social. A purple monkey swooped in, snatched the device, then broke it. Unable to handle the ordeal, he melted down.
Henry cackled. "Justice served! Now why don't you grow up? Or better yet, don't."
Grandpa John, Grandpa George, and Peanut gave a round of applause for Henry.
Henry concluded. "When everyone continues to run in circles, you know it's a very mad world. Both sides are garbage, but the REAL issue is that tyrant and those enablers."
Grandpa John was solemn. "Exactly. Preferences shouldn't overshadow right and wrong. Too bad most are blind to the truth."
Grandpa George questioned. "Can we go home now?"
"That's where we're headed," Grandpa John stated.
Henry waved. "If you need me, you know who to call."
So the two grandpas and Peanut hopped into John's electric golf cart and went back to his place. Henry the Grump spent the rest of the day sorting through food cans and grumbled about the downfall of society, but he also hoped that some would get the memo.